Last week I told you guys a little bit about how #wcw is evolving.  It’s been so awesome to “meet” amazing women around the country that I would have otherwise never known.  Women who are doing amazing things and living incredible lives all while choosing to put their real selves out there.  Women who have never met me but see the power in what this little series is doing…and who are eagerly willing to share their authentic selves.  Women like Candace.  I don’t know Candace personally but from what I’ve read…she’s pretty amazing.  And something tells me after you read this you will most definitely agree.  But enough from me…internet…meet Candace.

 

__________________________

CANDACE PROKOPETS

 

I’m a hypocrite.

I am completely black, then totally white.  A mixture of opposites.

I am a walking contradiction, if you will.  Always two things at once.

I want to be a successful business owner, but I often have trouble getting out of my pajamas before it’s time to get back in them.

I do intense Tracy Anderson workouts and then eat burgers and fries with a beer for dinner.  Followed by dessert.

I use Lara Casey powersheets one month and am on my game, only to forget about them the next month and be losing in my own game.

I’m all or nothing.

I’m clean eating followed by processed food.

I very much prefer “Made in U.S.A.” but shop for “Made In China” prices.

My dream is to write, but often nap when I have a free moment.

I believe in “getting your shit together” while embracing “progress over perfection”.

I like rules but am a rebel.

I prepare a marriage talk while arguing with my husband in the process.

I believe in the power of community, yet would prefer staying home (in my pajamas!).

I seek to be me until I log onto social media.

I want to go out for the night but I want to be there to put my baby to bed.

I encourage “less is more” but always find my thoughts saying “more, more, more!”

I want to be accepted for all of me, the good and the bad, but then find myself judging others.

I strive to be a leader, but then I realize that requires me to get dressed and leave my house.

I pray for humility then walk away thinking, “If only everyone could be like me…”

I want to be a good friend and then screen my phone calls.

I long to live out my dreams, but am often unwilling to walk through my fears.

I value authenticity and then I fake the funk.

I want to be different but it feels better to fit in.

I like to travel but I’m a homebody.

I’m confident yet struggle with areas of shame.

I want to make a difference in the world but then that requires me living different from the world.

I know prayer will help, but I go to my husband instead.

I want to speak the truth but then I think people can’t handle the truth, but maybe I can’t handle their response to the truth.

I write “I’m going to read one book a week” and then I go watch TV.

I want to be a good housewife, but my husband cooks most of our meals and does all the nasty cleaning around the house.

My heart longs for quiet, but instead I fill it with noise.

I believe in Jesus and yet I walk in fear.

 

This is the perfectly imperfect reality of humanity. Beautiful in all its mess. We all do what we don’t want to do and then don’t do what we long to do. But then again, not always. Sometimes we do the very thing our heart cries out for and manage to avoid the area of temptation. It often feels like a balancing act, like two scales weighing in whether we are a good girl today or very, very bad. But what if instead of seeking balance, we sought acceptance. This is who we are. I am a beautiful work in progress, a beautiful work of art. I’m not yet finished. God is painting something new in me and until He’s done, I need grace. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow too.

 

I am a recovering perfectionist, control-freak and sugar addict. They once ruled my world, but not anymore. Because I now have grace.

 

So today I’m doing business in my pjs.

I’m writing instead of napping.

And with these words, I’m telling you the truth.

I hope you find grace today too.

 

#wcw, inspiring women, amazing women, women in real life, chicago wedding photographer, indianapolis wedding photographer_0050

 

  • #wcw The Real Me -Pictilio - February 25, 2016 - 5:20 pm

    […] you have it! Go take a read and let me know if you connect with anything. I’d love to hear from you! Surely I’m not […]ReplyCancel

  • Suzanne Galante - March 1, 2016 - 11:06 pm

    There is so much to relate to…especially all those references to PJs. I think it means you’re human. xxooReplyCancel

 

Most people might look at a cold, snowy Sunday as a chance to stay inside in your PJ’s and enjoy the snow from the couch.  Light a fire and get cozy and watch the winter wonderland flurry through the window.  But this…friends…is why I work with the best couples in the world.  When snow was forecasted on the day of Shawn and Kevin’s engagement session they were all about it!  As the day went on and more and more snow fell I knew this one was going to be special.  I mean Shawn’s red hair in a winter white out is something photogs dream of!  So we bundled up and headed out into the snow to make some blizzardy magic.  And while it was cold, it was soooooo worth it because magic most certainly was made.

 

Shawn and Kevin…thank you for braving the cold with me.  You guys are awesome and I cannot WAIT for your wedding!  Where I can say with almost absolute certainty it will not be snowing.  🙂

 

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Back when I started this series…I actually didn’t know I was starting a series.  I wanted to bring a little realness back to the internet so I put a little honesty out there.  The response from that post was not only incredible but proof that the world does, in fact, need a little more authenticity.   When I really sat down and thought about it…I realized the reason I can so freely be my real self is because of the amazing women I have in my corner.  The friends who give their unaltered selves and make it OK for me to do that same.  And I had this overwhelming need to let the world know that reality exists amongst some truly fantastic females.

 

As the series sort of took on a life of it’s own I started to think about what the next step would be.  And one of the coolest things that has happened has been past #wcw-ers pushing the amazing women in THEIR lives to write a post.  Like a ripple of real, authentic women that is seriously endless.  When Tami emailed me telling me about Mary and how great she would be for #wcw I knew she had to do it.  Because this is what this series is all about.  I don’t know Mary personally…but I know she’s someone who gets excited by the chance to put her real self forward and from what I’ve read…one seriously awesome woman.

 

_______________________

MARY DOUGHERTY

 

Most days I change out of pajamas into a fancier pair of stretch pants.  Or just go back and forth between the two.

I KonMaried my clothes but I’m afraid to do “kimono” or sentimental items because I’m a saver.  I did finally throw away the pair of glasses I wore as a kindergartner.

Working from home is incredibly hard with two kids.  It’s kind of impossible.

I feel guilty for working.  I feel guilty for not working.

My husband has been taking care of the kids for the past year so I could work and is one of the 1% of husbands that could actually do that – he’s amazing.

I feel guilty for working.  It’s impossible to get anything done.

We make amazing homemade pizza and I would invite you over to try some if you were free.  Why aren’t you ever free? 😉

Sometimes I get confused and think the fake internet points people give me and have to remind myself that when I die no one is going to care how many Instagram followers I have.

We need to move and we haven’t.  My husband and I haven’t been able to figure out the next step.

I don’t write back to emails right away but let them age sometimes in my inbox.

I stopped blogging for two months and the world didn’t end.

I really want to be a morning person but I can’t bring myself to fully commit to early bed time, especially when I am getting up in the middle of the night soothing babies to go back to sleep.  Can you count me as a morning person?

I get distracted really easily.  I should have my phone taken away from me.

We started to become vegans but then ate cheese and runny egg yolks.  So we aren’t vegans.

I still consider myself a runner even though I go through month long periods of not running.  You should consider yourself a runner, too, if you do the same.

I’m a mix of competitive, laid back, shy and outgoing.

When I started my photography business I was afraid of reaching out to other photographers.  I also wasn’t very encouraging to photographers looking for help.

Some of my closest friends are also photographers and I now love having that network of friends to encourage and grow with.

My house is only clean because my husband has a gift, and when you have a gift you should be encouraged to use it.

I probably take advantage of that gift.

We have reached the point in our marriage that we have things that need to be resolved, talked through and worked on.

My daughter dressed up as cookie monster for Halloween and whenever she sees him on sesame street she says “that’s me mom! that’s me!”  It’s hilarious.

Having two kids is really hard.  Harder than I thought.  Living away from family doesn’t help.

Eating sweets makes me feel better.  That’s not a healthy relationship with food, but that’s the truth.

I won’t move close to my family.  Not because I don’t love them, but because Detroit isn’t the place I dream of living.

I’m not sure if I can give up the life I’ve built to live the life I dream of.  I’m working on how to get there.

 

Writing this post couldn’t have come at a better time.  No, it’s not because I’m on top of my game being the mom and #girlboss I dream to be, but quite the opposite.  The last year has been the hardest of my marriage.  It was the year that I became a mom of two, the year my husband was a stay at home dad, the year we didn’t move.  We did a lot of things, but I tend to focus on the things we didn’t do, or the questions we didn’t answer.

 

The thing about asking questions is that it’s scary.  You kind of have to face your choices and face the fear surrounding it.  Well, I’m asking lots of questions and I don’t have all the answers.  If you have ever been in place of questioning, of self doubt, of fear – then you aren’t alone.  We all get to these places, and we all can get out of them but we have to be willing to open up.  That comes easily for me – and not so easily for my husband.  The thing you actually learn by being married is how to work as a team, to be patient, to help each other through difficult circumstances.  It’s not easy, but I think it’s worth it.

 

#wcw, inspiring women, amazing women, women in real life, chicago wedding photographer, indianapolis wedding photographer_0012

 

Growing up…our family was full of a lot of boys.  I had a brother…and several boy cousins….and all my next door neighbors were boys.  But in the midst of all of them I had Shannon.  My one girl cousin who in all actuality…was more like my sister.  We are almost exactly 10 years apart and from as early as I remember I wanted to be just like her.  At every family gathering I wanted to sit next to her…do everything she was doing…dress like her…you name it.  Writing it out sounds kind of creepy but when I was little…she was just the coolest person there was.  As we grew up our matching outfits might have taken a backseat but one thing has always stayed the same…she was always the sister I never had.  Through high school and college she was the person I would call to give me advice about all the important life things.  We would spend weekends together that I would look forward to for months.  And as we grew into adults (it’s possible I’m still getting there)…it’s because of her that I met this crazy guy I call my husband.

 

Shannon and I have literally lived life together and while we may be much older…way more fashion savvy….and most of the time a bit wiser….she’s still that same person that I look up to.  An incredible mom to 4 awesome kids.  A truly devoted wife.  The type of person who cares so deeply about not only the people around her but people around the world.  And one truly incredible woman.  She’s inspired so much in me and I am truly grateful to not only call her my cousin but one of my very best friends.

 

______________________________

SHANNON SPAID

 

I often walk into my house with my husband and four kids and wonder when I became an adult.

There is always laundry.  Always.

My kids clothes get put away but mine often lay for awhile…then my hubby usually hangs them up.

I love naps.  I love food.  I love sunsets.  I love clean sheets.  I love Sailor Jerry.  I love the beach/ocean.  I love to laugh.  I love music.  I love helping others.  I love sex.  I love America.  I love God.

I want to be with my husband all the time and I don’t feel bad about it.

I am a mom, step mom, foster mom, and soon to be adoptive mom.  Lots of titles but I love all my kids no matter how they come to me.

I pray every day I don’t screw up my kids.

I don’t workout often and have gained weight over the years.  I am ok with it some days and not on other days.

After my dad died I started stress eating.  I think it helped me forget how sad I was so I could focus on my mom.  Work in progress.

I call my mom every day.

Fashion and I don’t get along.  Give me jeans and a t-shirt any day!  If I have to pick out an outfit for something I try on clothes and send Lauren selfies to get her opinion.

I never leave the house without make-up because I don’t like my skin.  After my hysterectomy I either have break outs or hot flashes.  But I am alive so I will take it.

I’ve had cancer.  I don’t consider myself a cancer survivor because I had one surgery and didn’t need anything else.  There are cancer survivors who battle hard, chemo/radiation, years of treatments….my mom, grandma, aunt, brother-in-law, mother-in-law and Lauren are survivors.

I have lots of gray hair.  Some day I plan to stop coloring my hair and just go gray.  Maybe at 50.

Mission trips to Haiti permanently altered me for the better.  I was scared the first time I went to Haiti.  Now I wish I could go more often, do more, and give more.

I can’t stand drama.  I don’t trust easily.  I avoid conflict at all cost.  I am annoyed by gossips and arrogant people.

My first baby turns 14 this summer and starts high school next year.  Officially feel old.

I don’t have a lot of friends.  But the ones I do have are the most loyal, trusting, loving, and genuine people.  They love me when I am right and when I am wrong.  We live real life together.

I can go from calm to crazy if you come at my kids.  Kids are suppose to make mistakes.  That is how they learn.  ALL kids make mistakes.

I’m very competitive.  I love sports.  I learned so much from playing sports growing up and from playing volleyball in college.

Being a sports mom has taught me to keep my mouth shut.  I’m still working on this.

The older I get the more I worry and let fear rule me.  During a resent trip I realized I need to live ‘outside the box’ more often.  New goal!

My husband Aaron and I are foster parents, but it took all of us to be a foster home.

We are in the process of adopting #4.  This little guy has taught our family so much and we are beyond lucky to call him ours.

I want more kids.  My husband thinks I’m crazy.  We agree to just pray on this.

I love my life and feel beyond blessed to be living it.

 

#wcw, inspiring women, amazing women, chicago wedding photographer, indianapolis wedding photographer_0015

 

In my profession you meet you a lot of amazing couples.  I have been truly lucky to work some incredible people but every once in a while someone comes along that just fits.  Jess is one of those people to me.  From the first time I met her I knew I didn’t only want to be her wedding photographer but her friend.  Because she has this way of lighting up the room and making you feel instantly better about anything.  She’s the kind of thoughtful that brings tears to your eyes and is not afraid to let you know just how grateful she is for you.  She has been such a source of happiness in my life and getting to know her has been truly amazing.  She is so kind, funny, loves country music, an amazing wife to Jake (who is also awesome!), genuine and just an overall solid human being.  Not to mention she basically made my photo brain explode at her wedding by giving us SO much time for sunset portraits.  This girl gets me. 😉  Jess is the epitome of #wcw and I can’t wait for you get to know her….

 

________________________________

JESS WEISBRODT

 

So Lauren came to me asking if I would like to be featured on her #WCW blog and my initial reaction was YES!!!  I was so excited and giddy because I always enjoy reading her blog posts so I couldn’t wait to be apart of it.  After that initial excitement, the thinking cap came on and I thought…okay now what?  What on earth am I going to write about??  Well that’s actually a lie, I first looked to see if the 25th fell on a Wednesday that was close so Lauren could post this on that date (we kind of have an obsession with the 25th – first date, engagement, wedding, the list goes on).  Any who… it didn’t work out so that’s why you’re reading this today and it’s not the 25th.  So here goes nothing.  🙂

 

There is something that I always seem to get from people… “You are always so happy!” … “You always have a smile on your face!” “You are always so positive!”  Well I will be the first to admit that, while I always try to live my life by seeing the glass half full, I too have my days and moments where I feel like my world is crumbling down.  I have learned that it is okay to not always have everything under control, because life is not always controllable.  I have my good days, my bad days, my “I don’t want to get out of bed days.”  The funny thing is, when I read all of these #WCW blogs, I find myself smiling because there are so many things I can relate to from every single post; so I hope mine can do the same for others.  I hope by the end of this, you will not feel alone.  One of my favorites is Lauren’s “I throw away Tupperware when the food inside is too gross.”  That one still makes me chuckle because I do the exact same thing!  So here is my best attempt at my “real life” …

 

I hate doing laundry… I don’t mind putting the clothes in.  It’s the folding and hanging up.  So most of the time, I leave it in the dryer and take out what I need day-by-day.  My husband hates it and then I get frustrated because my clothes get wrinkly.

 

I once destroyed my car because I “forgot” to get my oil changed and a hole burned through my engine… That sure was an expensive lesson and a day full of tears.  Make sure to get your oil changed on time!

 

I stress about everything and everyone.

 

Sometimes I do NEED to eat that whole bag of chocolate chip cookies.

 

I freak out when I have to go to the doctor or dentist.  I once went to the dentist and came out with 10 cavities… how does that even happen???  Then I regret eating that whole bag of cookies.

 

I’m constantly asking myself if I am in the right profession.  Still trying to figure out where I really fit in, in life.

 

My worst fear in life is not being able to become a mom.

 

I am sometimes late on paying bills… whoops.

 

Jake and I are STILL learning things about each other daily.  Even after dating for 10 years before getting married, we don’t have each other all figured out!

 

My best friend and I are the queens of complaining.  I think complaining to each other is sort of like our therapy.

 

I am in constant fear of failing and doubt myself a lot.

 

I am an auntie to not only my precious nephew Joey… but also to my two perfect angel nephews who I know are looking down on and watching over me everyday.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t still struggle with that hurt in my heart but learning that time does help heal.

 

I hate when Jake snores… and its gotten worse over the years.  Refer back up to where I said that we are still learning things about each other.

 

Marriage is NOT easy!!  Sometimes we disagree but at the end of the day… we always love each other and he truly is my best friend and someone I am so proud to call my hubby!

 

I’m still trying to figure out how we are STILL broke.

 

I do not wash my hands with my wedding rings on…. I’m convinced it will ruin them.  #noitwont

 

The city of Chicago hates me… When I lived there during school, I got ticketed, booted and towed all in the same day.  Once again, that day ended in LOTS of tears.

 

Even at the age of 26… I STILL need my mom.

 

I have issues with anxiety.  It is something that I am continuously working on.

 

I get jealous.

 

I Google everything… Any sort of pain quickly turns into me convincing myself that I’m dying.

 

I can’t go a week without eating Chipotle.  ECOLI will not stop me.

 

I miss being a kid sometimes – Some days I wish I didn’t have the responsibilities and stresses that you gain when becoming an adult.  If only I knew this when I was little instead of always wishing I could “grow up!”

 

I am obsessed with being an aunt/god mommy…. My nephew is the light in my life and a great reminder to what life is all about.  His smile, laugh and love can turn my horrible day around instantly and I think that is incredibly powerful.

 

I have horrible grammar skills… so I apologize for all the grammatical errors in this post.

 

I am always wishing I had more time to just relax and not do anything.  But when I finally get that time, I get bored and have to do something.

 

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

 

I could go on and on… But I think that paints a good picture of the crazy and imperfect life I call my own.  People say your life completely changes when you get married…. We’re still trying to figure that one out but what I do know is that our wedding was the happiest, most perfect day of our life.  Then you go home and reality sinks back in… You’re no longer living that fairytale that you got to experience for a few days while on a newlywed high and I’m realizing that it’s OKAY.  If life were so perfect all the time, we wouldn’t know what true happiness was because we wouldn’t know of struggle and hurt and all the things that make happiness real.  I think life works in mysterious ways and I continue to hear a certain song on the radio after a really bad day and it makes me take a step back and remind myself that I am truly blessed in life.  So it is with that that I will end my blog post… “It’s where I hit my knees and thank the lord for this life of mine. Man I love this life”… Yes it’s a country song. (“I Love this Life” – LoCash).

 

#wcw, inspiring women, amazing women, chicago wedding photographer, indianapolis wedding photographer_0001

 

 

 

 

 

  • Barbra - February 3, 2016 - 2:13 pm

    Proud to be your Madre! Now don’t stress if there aren’t a lot of comments! ☺️ReplyCancel